I came across this perspective recently, and as I digested it, I realized that having this mindset 15 years ago would have saved me tons of energy and tears. Honestly, to a certain extent, I could feel it in my heart, but sometimes when you are sailing in rocky water, its hard to heed that small voice. Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else.
I came across a copy of “Why People Don’t Heal, And How They Can” by Caroline Myss and found this and plenty of other useful information on healing and moving forward. I am going to share one portion that really spoke to me, and as we ride these waves in life, maybe it can help others as well.
Let’s consider the ideas of betrayal and growth. I am sure a good majority of adults have experienced betrayal on some level. I know that I have had my fair share, and have also had my fair share of dwelling, harboring resentment, obsessing, crying and otherwise having my energy drained by the circumstances. But betrayal is the route by which one experiences growth, yet by nature we tend to be set in our ways, and enjoy a certain level of comfort, even in less than ideal situations.
“Rather than accepting that the day has come to confront your fear…most of us avoid the fear entirely until some experience forces us to look more closely at ourselves. You may, for instance, resist leaving a marriage that has become counterproductive and spiritually damaging, only to find that you or your spouse will do something – like have an affair – that precipitates a divorce, regardless of your attempts to halt the process.”
Betrayal and growth are so intricately linked, but somehow in a trying moment in life, that is easy to forget. At times we feel like everything is crumbling around us. We may have been happily married for 30 years only to have our husband leave us for another woman. Or we may have a family member that cleans out our bank account, or a best friend who turns against us. These things happen, and it is often extremely difficult to process.
“As long as we think of them as betrayals, we take years to recover from them and we lose incalculable amounts of energy over them.”
Forgiveness in this perspective becomes much easier.
“The people who may seem…to be participating in an act of betrayal are, in truth, acting out an agreement you have already made with [The Great Spirit]. How, then, can you be angry at one of the [Great Spirit’s] messengers? There is nothing for which you need to forgive them, for they have done nothing at all to harm you.
Often times in these rough patches, we are given progressively more intense signs that is time for change. From my experiences, and the experiences of those around me I have seen Spirit will try gently to guide us with intuition and small signs. I have seen that what may start as a light tap on the shoulder, or whisper in your heart that it is time to move on, when ignored can easily progress to an emergency room or therapist’s office.
“All the signals tell us that the time has come to let go and move on with our lives. Those who heed the signals will be presented with their own challenges, but, more often than not, because we fear change, most of us remain in the old and familiar places, clinging to situations and relationships that have essentially ended. You may, for example, experience a growing desire to leave your job, but even as this desire intensifies, you ignore it because you are unsure of where to go next. You tell yourself that you would make the change if only you knew what lay ahead, if only you had something better lined up. As the tension within you mounts, you fight your desire with more and more self-created rationalizations: “It’s not the right time,” you tell yourself, or “My job situation is bound to improve if I only give it another chance.” But as the months pass, nothing changes except your mounting anger-not only about you job, but at yourself for not having the courage to do anything about it…in the case of leaving your job, the consequences are likely to manifest as illness (usually a chronic condition, such as constant headaches or an ulcer) or what you perceive as a betrayal, like getting fired from the job.”
Another major aspect of the growth and betrayal connection is the impact on your health. When one continually stifles growth and change, it can be detrimental to their health.
“When you experience an apparent act of betrayal, look closely to see if it may not actually be a “Divine invitation” to let go of the old and discover the new.”
This perspective makes it easier to let go of the energy gobbling what if’s and why’s, and transform that energy into learning and growing. I hope this message reaches others the way it did for me. Let me know what you think! Please share this post to inspire others, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a post!